What a putz

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

 Oh only if it was a passing thing. I tell you I have worked with some pieces of work in my thirty plus years in the workforce.

It's tough to come away with something positive in the workplace when that special someone sticks in their unfounded and worthless two cents on absolutely nothing that pertains or relates to what you are working on. And that person thinks he knows and knows better. Terrible foolishness... and ignorance.

Believe me I am not one above criticism. I really don't know if I have any detractors... well wait... yeah I do, this fucking ass hat.  :)

Transference. I love that word. Especially when it works. And always ALWAYS for the better. Awesome. That's all I have to say about that. All inclusive all encompassing all related. Just simply awesome.

So in our so-called transparent world one cannot deny the presence of asshat. So that is the name he will be referred as. And I share this with everyone who have come and gone will agree, asshat it is. Oh I have watched you digress. We shall see what the fates will allow.

Saturday; or Between the Serenity and Madness

This is not the end of us by any means our friendship our love it is another step for me that I need to take for me to get past this to get through this so I take this step and march on. I had to give most of it all up. What didn’t help me to grow to learn to keep me in my hell, in my stagnation, in my hole of myself where things poisoned my thoughts and over read my sensibilities and cut into my priorities. I’m still learning, still loving, still marching on to that better dream of a reality, for me for everyone that I come into contact with. Hah ended with a preposition.

Thank you for the music, Zola Jesus and for the life, Jesus.

And here we go....

A return to where it relatively began to bring us near, here, and maybe to do it all over again. But a bit of the old with the new, fewer words maybe, but we'll see.


It was a rainy day in the beginning of June, that’s where we made you.

Graced By The Crow

I see them in the day, as I wake, I see them see me as well.

They hover over and land around me.
To feed from the ground, and I feed thee as well.

They visit and stay awhile. They lift off and land again.
In rotation, they do this often. One sails as one feeds
One looks out and one gathers.

When their numbers multiply they follow the same.
2 and 2, they gather and graze, 3 and 3, and 4 and 4.
A murder orchestra, they are the team.

They play as well, with each other and me too.
They play on the ground; they play in the air,
But mostly upon rooftop where in numbers they gather.

They stick around for a while, until it is time for them to round up
They resume to their flight with no planned destination
They give me flight as well when it is my time to go.

They grace me with their song of calls
They give me acceptance and assurance of who I am
At least what I am doing here at this time.

They walk and study everything
They approach near but cautiously
I see them when they aren’t even around

I am appreciative of their flight
Their stare and sometimes glare
Their deliberation and conviction with each step, move, and take off.

I am appreciative of their beauty, of what some see as ugliness.
Their regalness makes them stalwart a dedicated bird to each other
They do no hear mockery, only jealousy, they fly on.

Timing is everything with this aerial black winged virtuoso.
They are cunning, smart, and all too creative of their surroundings.
Their patience and presence makes them a recognized force.

For the crow is truth in all things of life:
The proud, the determined, the loved, the liar, and the thief,
The stealer of the air and ground they occupy, the deceiver, the helpless, and even the wanderer.

For we are the crows, some in more respect than others.
Some flock in numbers, some alone.
For those that flock separately, we flock together under the same sky.


May 6, 2012

Waxing poetic?

Or is it just a start? I would like to think a little bit of both, but when it comes like thunder and hits you like lightning the obvious answer is ... is that it's a lot of both. Sometimes the subtleties are so overpowering it is quite similar to that with gout sufferers. As in "the weight of a sheet." Universal trends, codes, symbols, generators, clues to the big picture that initially presented with whispers, hints, and subliminals. In threes, in tandems, and repeaters in unisons give it away. Captcha's even present themselves to you. To identify human or machine, "clearoccur". How about having the same meaning with two entirely extracted words that have no relation to each other. The only similarity is that each word is mentioned in it's own definition. Therefore the relation of one relies on the other, giving it's own power. And the power of two together equals a stronger and more powerful one. The difference in all these and if being the same thing and/or relating or not. What I call, “Unarelatin.” Have and relating to all and all are one. Are these things ephemeral in nature or are they something more in a “waxing” type of universal truth or presentation?

As I look from the grass where I stand, I can see

As I look from the grass I can see where I am, where I've been, and in a sense where I'm going. It's about time I do this so let's get this baby off the ground. Shall we?

So I’m lifting off from my town I see reasons to leave, more to stay. Parents keep me here and so do others as well. I thank them, and the Lord, for keeping me. Even on crazy Saturday, Nomad Day I call it. I look all over this place in West Springfield and take a look at my parents place in Ludlow. Making sure everything is ok there. I just left there a while ago, but I was there earlier doing the same thing I am now. Laying flat up on my bed and then sitting up somewhere looking out through the trees into the sky. But it was dark, as it is now dark, and there were stars. So now I'm high about Mass. and looking all around New England. It's mostly quiet and peaceful. I like nights like this, when it's quite. I'll get to my beer later. That tells me that I have accomplished something.

Yes this is not only a step, but an accomplishment as well. You'll tell God that I got this far for only in my dreams I could do this, but now the ball is outstretched into this thing. The world will have to read it from here. I've read many and transcripts too many to name, but I will and will put them here. I will footnote often and give thanks and praise to those that have come before me and have scribed once and some often. Some without thinking as yes this I am trying to do. There are no rough drafts here. Cause the Rough is the Final post here. I will let you know if I edit, I will let you know my thoughts, plans (if any), and my moves, actions and reactions. But they’re maybe not all commented and written here, but I will share as much as I can. I will elaborate on things that made need explaining. Even the editing I feel should be explained. Upon corrections in grammar, mechanics, and spelling, they will be listed. So back to the ether sphere.

So I'm above New England and the air is cooler now. Perfect for post Halloween weather. I look to the south where I laid many tracks down. Florida, Alabama, Georgia. Seeing if there is anything for me now. I don't see a need, but feel a thankfulness and appreciation of where I've been. I'm moving up a little higher and looking to the west, Texas, and seeing some friends. Maybe friends I should have hung onto. Continue the view to the west to Arizona, California. Not much for me there ... but was there. Turning up north, maybe some trek time in Montana and Wyoming. Moving back to the east and I see the mid-west. A pause and reflect of a loss love, but hopeful of love again. True love and the right person? There's no sense in giving up hope. If that's all you got then keep it, but if it keeps the heart afloat, give it that one little thing. If it's false don't try to fool it. Things will figure themselves out. So I'm way up and looking down on things. See Chicago and some sites. The lakes even as I give one last glance at Wisconsin some other sites to kid myself. Turn back to the sky, black with stars, too beautiful for words. This site truly worth them all and more. So at least we know what were after, don't we. The best of all possible worlds. Between heaven and earth. Why not make it so. So things are down for a bit. Things are down everywhere. This is just a little escape here. This doesn't have to be a separate account, a vent even. No this is part of the piece.

So I'm looking up to the heavens and at the top north of the globe. Too beautiful not to recognize, too precious not to keep, too lasting not to want to stay. So let's stay and give this a try. A real faithful try. I could come here again. I could come here often. Something tells me that I should. So as with any type of inspiration, this one that light a fire will keep bringing me back, here. And I will give you my views from the place in the grass, or on the roof, or from my window, but I'll be mostly outside when this stuff comes and I will come running back in here to tell you about it.

I'm coming back down now, a little sad of what I left behind, but I will return, you can bet on that. No promises, but it looks like I will. I hope I gave you a little vision, a hope, I dunno, something to hold you over. I'm easing into my body again and welcoming it back thanks for taking the time away. This mean more than you know. So let's do this again shall we. Thanks. And thanks for reading and listening.


~D


Parents are no longer in Ludlow, I, still in West Springfield. They have returned where I ventured out in my early adult life. I hope they find joy, peace, and comfort there. Not to mention great rewarding adventure, as it should be.

November 9, 2008
Last paragraph entry: June 2, 2012

Just January,

Dogs that chase me here
Are not dogs but walk on two
Scratching and clawing to get to you

Find my weakness
Not my need to be here
But to provide the walking green

Waking it’s in fitful cry
Thrashing thrown about inside
Of these dream I do not sleep

But it is in my waking day or night
That follow me here
To this delayed karma

The wrong I have done
Is not subject to such torture
Undeserved punishment for being here
this long.


So few are far between these blogs and prose I write. To jilted in my own world, psyche, mind, almost everything till I go out and see. See if it all proves me right. So I write. And today I did little but what I did still is something that I put down here. Maybe? No promise. Promise you will. Promise me you will waken the beast that is not a best by your measure but that voice that is buried inside. Crying sometimes. Let him out damn it. So he can breathe, live, and rejoice and be happy, as you have said you wanted him to be, as he needs to be. Let him out now. Promise this forever.